Tag Archive | sing

“Hit Me With Your Best Shot!”

Well, it’s a little after 10:30pm. I’m where I usually am, on my bed with the dogs, watchin the recorded Waltons of the day. I’m still dealin with bronchitis, chest is feelin really tight, probably shoulda went in to doc today…will Monday if not significantly better I think.

I had a pretty okay day today. I forced my pain riddled body to get up and pull on some jeans and a tshirt, and my “Crazy Dog Lady and Proud of It!” Hoodie, and crawled into the van and drove up to our little lake cottage. It was a sunny day, but cold. The drive was nice, there are still beautifully colored leaves on some of the trees! It’s only about a 40 minute drive, I was pretty sluggish on the way there. My mission was to get to the cottage and clean out the fridge and pantry for the season. I’ve been wanting to get that done since the end of August, but just havn’t felt up to it.

So I got there and threw out anything bad, scrubbed out the fridge, then loaded the good stuff and the bad stuff (lettuce in a bag for a couple months = gross) into the van. By now my blood was kinda pumpin, so I thought I would hit the Dollar Store on my way outta town to get a few groceries, and I did…including milk and eggs! It saved me a trip to the “real” grocery store…alot smaller area to cover. I am sure I looked a fright considering I didn’t comb my hair or put on makeup and was a bit dirty from the fridge…but…oh well!

Got my purchases loaded up, climbed in and started for home. The day was still sunny, the drive so pretty…alot of farmland, cows, horses…it made me sit there and thank God for all the beauty he created…I truly said thank you for each thing outloud as I drove!

Then I decided to put in my fave rocker chick (well maybe that’s a tie with Joan Jett)…Pat Benetar! So for the rest of the drive it was me and Pat belting out her best work! Yes, it hurt my belly and lungs…but I held the wheel with one hand and my belly with the other and I sang my heart out! Of course “Hit Me..” got played more than once…cuz that’s how I feel when I’m fightin…bring it! I’ve not been fightin much lately…been in the corner with the icky spit bowl droolin like a fool. I’m gonna put my mouth piece back in and go back in the ring again. I might get sidelined again here and there…of course I will…I have too many serious health conditions not to, but I will keep standin back up, I’m like that big blow up punchin bag clown we had as kids…lol

So, I enjoyed the day for the most part. I’m suffering a bit extra for it, but I’m okay. It was Veteran’s Day and I also thanked God for all the Veteran’s and prayed for their families, and thanked God mine was safe too.

Well, my chest is feelin pretty tight and icky, think I will break out the Vicks and take a bath in it. Hope you all enjoyed your personal 11-11-11!

T

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Public Apology:

This is a public apology…to my children.  Whether they have been bothered by me in the past, the present or will be in the future.  I probably owe you an apology.

I’m sorry that when you were in my womb I talked to you every waking moment as if you would answer me, and read books to you and actually believed that when you did a little turn in there, it was because you were enjoying the story.

I’m sorry that when you were an infant I held you more often than not.  I watched you sleep.  I fretted over you if you slept too much or not enough.  I made sure you were breathing if  you were asleep longer than five minutes.  I read every baby book ever written.  I changed your clothes alot, just cuz you had so many cute outfits!  I took you out just to show you off. I loved to just smell the top of your heads after a bath!  I sang to you all the time.

I’m sorry that when you were a toddler I watched over you like a hawk.  I safety proofed every single thing in the house, every corner, every hard surface, every cabinet, every toilet…was militant about child safety seats, and never once left you with a babysitter that wasn’t related because I was sure you would be injured in some way.  I’m sorry I still read to you and sang to you.  I’m sorry I hovered over you and tried to always keep you safe, clean and out of harms way.  I’m sorry I would tickle your toes just to hear you squeal with laughter!

When you were a child I am sorry I made you eat food you disliked because it was good for you.  I’m sorry I tried to teach you manners.  I’m sorry I let all your friends stay the night whenever you wanted them too, because that kept you safe at home with me.  I’m sorry I made such a fuss if you ever went to another friends house by having to meet the parents.  I’m sorry I made you sit at the table practicing your spelling or math over and over so you could pass the tests.  I’m sorry I sat up late at night with you trying to finish a science project you waited til the last minute to tell me about.  I’m sorry I would make up a fake “ghost detector” so you would be able to sleep at night knowing there were no ghosts under your bed or in your closet.  I’m sorry I waited til you got home from school everyday and asked many questions about what went on at school and what kind of day you had.  I’m sorry for letting one of you eat PB & J for lunch every single day for a year, because that was all you would take to school for lunch.  I’m sorry I had to wrestle one of you almost daily just to get your hair combed because you detested it so.  I’m sorry for any times I was an embarrassment…such as the day I had to chase one of your school busses down the street because they forgot to drop you off….in my pajamas.  I’m sorry for staying up all night when you were sick, cleaning up after your sick tummies expelled their contents allover the beds/floors/clothes/etc., fretting each moment that you would die of some plague not yet discovered by modern medicine.

I’m sorry during  your teen years I made you do your homework.  I’m sorry I made you pitch in with chores around the house, sometimes without an allowance, because that’s just what families do.  I’m sorry I asked 1000 questions whenever you wanted to go somewhere.  I’m sorry I asked more questions with each new friend you made and wanted to hang with.  I’m sorry I didn’t allow you to ride in cars with other teen drivers.  I’m sorry I didn’t allow you to go to parties that I feared there would be “no good” going on.  I’m sorry I griped at you for leaving half full pop cans laying around everywhere or half eaten food in your rooms.  I’m sorry that you didn’t always understand my rules or reasonings.  I’m sorry that when you thought you were “getting away with something” I probably knew about it and just let it go….picking my battles and letting some slide.  I’m sorry that I would let you tell me grandiose stories that I knew were untrue, but I let you believe I believed.  I’m sorry for trying to build your self esteem and self respect.  I’m sorry for trying to teach you about life and about becoming and adult.  I’m sorry I didn’t force you to get jobs because I believed you should enjoy your time as a kid and that school was hard enough.  I’m sorry I didn’t push you to hard academically, again…because I believed no one needs to be brow beaten to exceed at something if they don’t enjoy it.  I’m sorry I tried to protect you from every conceivable danger in the world.

As adults I’m sorry if I still feel I’m a mother who needs to try to help.  I’m sorry if I still think your life is part of mine.  I’m sorry if I still think I can help keep you from making mistakes, I’m sorry if I am still trying to safe guard all the sharp corners of life.  I’m sorry if I still try to make you giggle because I enjoy the sound so much.  I’m sorry if I can’t help myself from giving my opinions on your every move.  I’m sorry if I didn’t fully succeed at preparing you for the hard knocks of life.  I’m sorry if I have ever hurt your feelings or your pride.  I’m sorry if I have ever scared you by being ill.  I’m sorry if I have made mistakes.  I’m sorry if I will continue to make mistakes.  I’m sorry if I will spoil your future children and try to protect them as well.  I’m sorry if I someday become a burden that you won’t have time for.  I’m sorry if I will someday leave you and no longer be around to annoy you in some way.  I’m sorry for feeling guilt at your every misfortune in life.

I’m sorry.  Because….I am a mom…and moms are usually sorry about something. 

“I think a mother is the best friend God gives us.  There are friend moments, and there are mother moments.  Sometimes they are both at the same time”  Virginia Harris

Gifts from the heart? Micro-managing…and more!

Have you ever given a gift to someone?  Of course you have!  All of us have given a gift to someone at some point or another in our lives.  Maybe it was an extravagant gift like a diamond necklace…or maybe it was a used t-shirt we no longer needed or wore…maybe it was rocks from your garden that your bestfriend really liked and wanted….maybe it was lunch for a friend….maybe it was a cash tip for a job well done!  Yes, we have all done this, right?

When you gave this gift…did you do it because you wanted to?  Because you felt good doing something nice for someone?  Because you are just a kind and giving person?  Because you wanted to show the other person some type of appreciation?  Because you liked or loved the recipient of the gift?  Probably so.

After giving said gift, did you then harbor in the back of your mind that this person somehow was now indebted to you or owed you in some capacity?  That you now have done something nice for them and they now owe you the same in return?  I would think not, because the whole idea of giving a gift is to do it out of kindness…not out of some twisted sense of “HA! Now you must turn and do something nice for me!”  lol…no, I think we all give gifts because we are nice and it makes US feel good to do good for others.  At least I hope so. 

I have heard stories of people who do nice things for others, then throw it in their face when things don’t go their way for some reason.  I’ve never been sure what to make of people who do things like that.  People who say things like “Well I was nice to you!  How can you disagree with my opinion?”  Like being nice was payment on some future debt owed.  “I was nice to you in 1987, so I need you to wash my car now!”  Or they blow what they have given you so far out of proportion…like that old mirror that had been in their attic unused or unseen for years was some brand new grand piano?  I dunno.  I have just heard of these type of occurrances, and it bothers me.  When I give someone something, I gave it.  It’s gone.  It made me feel good and it made them feel good.  Once you bring it up or make it ugly….it makes no one feel good.

Just watched a movie this week where this man was a micro-manager.  OF EVERYTHING!  He was the supervisor at a big department store.  He was one of those bossy bosses…lol.  You know the type.  They know it all.  They have done it all.  They know the best way of doing it all.  On the surface he seemed like a nice guy…in fact, he would be the first to tell you what  a nice guy he was!  😉 Once they really got to know him however…or worked under him for any length of time…they saw the truth.  He would tell the guys stories about his life..or problems he is having with other employees or other people in general…and of course they agree with everything he says…he’s the boss or your friend or your brother in law!  What else are ya gonna do?  Anyway, on the show he was such a “manager” of everything, at home…he ran the show…he told his wife how to do everything, where to put things, how to put them there, when to put them there. He wasn’t abusive or anything, it was a comedy…lol, he was just so arrogant!  He didn’t even seem to realize just how annoying he was, or how everyone really found him to be a total bafoon! His poor wife, she followed his every rule and command like a whipped puppy dog.  She’d say “Oh yes, Honey!  I’ll do that!” To his every command.  “If she only knew how he talked about her behind her back!”…the friends would say.  He had two grown sons who wouldn’t even talk to him…they would talk to the mom, and stop over only when the dad wasn’t around, at first…before you found out how the dad was, you thought these two sons were real brats for being so mean to their father…then as the story unfolded, you understood!   The employees did as they were told and pretended to be interested in his boring and sometimes ridiculous stories, they would put in the correct compliments where indicated.  But outside of work, they all made fun of him.  Of how he really thought he was “cool” or “goodlooking” or “smart”, or “talented” he really thought he was a great singer, when in fact it sounded like fingernails on the chalkboard!  Didn’t stop him from singing all the time though!  In the shower, in the bathroom stalls, in the halls, everywhere!  lol…  This guy would find one employee and take him under his wing…he was so desperate for a friend at the beginning of the movie, the new employee would go along with his boss…at times feeling pity for the guy.  Eventually this “boss’s pet” would figure out that the dude was completely nutzo!  He soon learned why all the other employee’s talked badly about this guy and why some had previously quit.  His demands were at times just plain moronic, and he always thought someone was trying to rip him off…whether at work or at home…it was hilarious..at one point he had three different plumbers coming to his house for estimates on just changing the ballcock in the toilet tank!  Trying to save $5.oo!  lol….but you would’ve had to watch the movie and I can’t remember the name of it right now.  Eventually the guy lost his job…and was left as he started…friendless and looking for work….but no worries, his hapless wife was still by his side, but there was the indication that she would soon be sick of his insanity. It ended with him sending back the car he had just had specially outfitted with outrageous interior because he now thought it was vulgar…the guys at the auto detailers, put a dead fish in his car heater vents!  It was great!!! Even though it was funny, it did have a moral…that even if you’re delusional thinking you are greater than you really are, in the end…it’s others opinion of you that tells the world what kind of person you are.  Anyway…I guess the show got me thinkin about all the micro-managers of the world….I bet they give themselves migraines!

I’m feeling pretty good tonight.  For a change.  Think I’m getting my UTI under control.  It’s one of those days where I am feeling thankful for alot of things instead of down.  I am thankful that I have two great children who love me and spend alot of time with me…willingly!  I am grateful that I have such a great relationship with my kids and my family!  I am grateful that I have so many kind and loving and true friends…some in person and some online!  I am grateful that I have a strong and supportive family…even through tough times.  I am just grateful for alot tonight!  And guess what peeps?  SPRING has sprung!  Woo Hoo!  What’s not to love about that?!  Sunshine!  That always makes me feel better.  And Easter is Sunday, and spring break….I sure hope the weather stays nice for everyone! 

I appreciate all of you who read and message me privately and comment! 

We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers.  ~Seneca