Tag Archive | mother

25 years ago…

baby jeremy

Twenty-five years ago you came

assured my life would never be the same

what a sweet boy you were to all

I loved you each year you grew so tall

It all happens so fast

I wish childhood would last and last

So I could hold you in my lap and hug you oh so tight

Instead you grew at the speed of light

Now that you’re grown and on your own

I have the memories that are mine alone

Memories of my sweet boys face

Blowing out his candles, these memories you can’t replace

Twenty-five years ago today

God gave me a gift and in my heart he will stay

 

 

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A SON

The nurse lays him on your chest

There were others born that day, but you know he is the best

Now you’re officially a mommy

You’re in charge of this boy, the next 18 years will be like a tsunami

Can you do it? Can you raise him right?

You wonder this each and every night

You love him so much you can think of nothing else on the planet

You vow to protect him and guide him and to be his wall of granite

The years pass by and you watch him grow

Are you doing it right? You just don’t know

You worry and fuss over his every move

You’re a good mom, this much you’ll prove

He’s grown from dinosaurs to girls

Right before your eyes like a tilta-whirls

Where’s that seet little boy who would sneak toads into his room?

How is it he is already of age to be a groom?

You still fuss over his life

You will, even after he takes a wife

He is your son and you are his mother

This is a bond, like no other

Being a parent is tough

Did you do it right?

You did, because you loved him enough

And a mother and son is a beautiful sight

Public Apology:

This is a public apology…to my children.  Whether they have been bothered by me in the past, the present or will be in the future.  I probably owe you an apology.

I’m sorry that when you were in my womb I talked to you every waking moment as if you would answer me, and read books to you and actually believed that when you did a little turn in there, it was because you were enjoying the story.

I’m sorry that when you were an infant I held you more often than not.  I watched you sleep.  I fretted over you if you slept too much or not enough.  I made sure you were breathing if  you were asleep longer than five minutes.  I read every baby book ever written.  I changed your clothes alot, just cuz you had so many cute outfits!  I took you out just to show you off. I loved to just smell the top of your heads after a bath!  I sang to you all the time.

I’m sorry that when you were a toddler I watched over you like a hawk.  I safety proofed every single thing in the house, every corner, every hard surface, every cabinet, every toilet…was militant about child safety seats, and never once left you with a babysitter that wasn’t related because I was sure you would be injured in some way.  I’m sorry I still read to you and sang to you.  I’m sorry I hovered over you and tried to always keep you safe, clean and out of harms way.  I’m sorry I would tickle your toes just to hear you squeal with laughter!

When you were a child I am sorry I made you eat food you disliked because it was good for you.  I’m sorry I tried to teach you manners.  I’m sorry I let all your friends stay the night whenever you wanted them too, because that kept you safe at home with me.  I’m sorry I made such a fuss if you ever went to another friends house by having to meet the parents.  I’m sorry I made you sit at the table practicing your spelling or math over and over so you could pass the tests.  I’m sorry I sat up late at night with you trying to finish a science project you waited til the last minute to tell me about.  I’m sorry I would make up a fake “ghost detector” so you would be able to sleep at night knowing there were no ghosts under your bed or in your closet.  I’m sorry I waited til you got home from school everyday and asked many questions about what went on at school and what kind of day you had.  I’m sorry for letting one of you eat PB & J for lunch every single day for a year, because that was all you would take to school for lunch.  I’m sorry I had to wrestle one of you almost daily just to get your hair combed because you detested it so.  I’m sorry for any times I was an embarrassment…such as the day I had to chase one of your school busses down the street because they forgot to drop you off….in my pajamas.  I’m sorry for staying up all night when you were sick, cleaning up after your sick tummies expelled their contents allover the beds/floors/clothes/etc., fretting each moment that you would die of some plague not yet discovered by modern medicine.

I’m sorry during  your teen years I made you do your homework.  I’m sorry I made you pitch in with chores around the house, sometimes without an allowance, because that’s just what families do.  I’m sorry I asked 1000 questions whenever you wanted to go somewhere.  I’m sorry I asked more questions with each new friend you made and wanted to hang with.  I’m sorry I didn’t allow you to ride in cars with other teen drivers.  I’m sorry I didn’t allow you to go to parties that I feared there would be “no good” going on.  I’m sorry I griped at you for leaving half full pop cans laying around everywhere or half eaten food in your rooms.  I’m sorry that you didn’t always understand my rules or reasonings.  I’m sorry that when you thought you were “getting away with something” I probably knew about it and just let it go….picking my battles and letting some slide.  I’m sorry that I would let you tell me grandiose stories that I knew were untrue, but I let you believe I believed.  I’m sorry for trying to build your self esteem and self respect.  I’m sorry for trying to teach you about life and about becoming and adult.  I’m sorry I didn’t force you to get jobs because I believed you should enjoy your time as a kid and that school was hard enough.  I’m sorry I didn’t push you to hard academically, again…because I believed no one needs to be brow beaten to exceed at something if they don’t enjoy it.  I’m sorry I tried to protect you from every conceivable danger in the world.

As adults I’m sorry if I still feel I’m a mother who needs to try to help.  I’m sorry if I still think your life is part of mine.  I’m sorry if I still think I can help keep you from making mistakes, I’m sorry if I am still trying to safe guard all the sharp corners of life.  I’m sorry if I still try to make you giggle because I enjoy the sound so much.  I’m sorry if I can’t help myself from giving my opinions on your every move.  I’m sorry if I didn’t fully succeed at preparing you for the hard knocks of life.  I’m sorry if I have ever hurt your feelings or your pride.  I’m sorry if I have ever scared you by being ill.  I’m sorry if I have made mistakes.  I’m sorry if I will continue to make mistakes.  I’m sorry if I will spoil your future children and try to protect them as well.  I’m sorry if I someday become a burden that you won’t have time for.  I’m sorry if I will someday leave you and no longer be around to annoy you in some way.  I’m sorry for feeling guilt at your every misfortune in life.

I’m sorry.  Because….I am a mom…and moms are usually sorry about something. 

“I think a mother is the best friend God gives us.  There are friend moments, and there are mother moments.  Sometimes they are both at the same time”  Virginia Harris

Mother’s Day!

This will also be a short entry.  I just want to say that I am sooo very thankful to be alive on this Mother’s Day.  To spend the day with my family.  Especially my two wonderful children, Jeremy and Jessica!  I love those two more than they can possibly comprehend.  Without them, I couldn’t go on.  They are my reason for living.  So thank you God above for blessing me with these two awesome children and for allowing me to spend another fabulous day with them!

“A mother’s love is unconditional and never dies”

Kindness

I am reading a wonderful book right now…it’s entitled “One Simple Act” written by Debbie Macomber.  The sub title is “Discovering the Power of Generosity.”  I have only read a couple of chapter so far, but it really is inspiring.

It’s the whole “Pay it Forward” concept, that I am sure we have all heard of.  I know most of us make it a habit to be kind to others…but this compels you to do even more.  To be really conscious of how you are treating others and to try to do really wonderful things for people on a regular basis.

One example is where it is winter and she is leaving a bookstore and she has her gloves on, her winter coat and is in her car with the heater on…she is headed to the store for some quick items.  She sees a man in the median strip with a sign “Hungry, will work for food.”  He has a white bucket for money.  Now this woman has a son in his 20’s who has left home and is estranged from the family due to drug issues.  So, seeing this man out in the frigid climate without gloves disturbed her…but she figured if she gave him money, there was a chance it would be spent on drugs/alcohol, etc.  While in the store, she just couldn’t get this man out of her mind…she bought him a pair of gloves!  She drove back to him, rolled down her window…he approached with his bucket out…she handed out the gloves, he looked at her bewildered and she explained she wanted him to have some protection from the elements…he thanked her and as she drove away, she saw him putting them on in her rearview mirror.

It seems like such a small thing.  A pair of gloves.  But who knows?  That one act of kindness, with nothing expected in return, could have given that homeless man a seed of thought…that there were good people in the world, that there was hope…maybe it just made him want to do something nice for someone…but it did mean SOMETHING.

Another example was seeing a young mother in the grocery line, without enough money to pay for her groceries and offering to pay for them.  Or offering to pay for the car behind you’s fastfood order.  There are other things that don’t cost you a penny…holding doors open, offering to do a seniors grocery shopping, shoveling someones drive for free, taking someone a casserole…just a simple smile and a “How are you doing?” and honestly stopping and caring about their answer.

If every person tried to do one or two kind things everyday…wouldn’t the world be a more pleasant place to live?  It seems we all get so bogged down with our own lives and struggles…we stop seeing each other.  I know I get crabby and inpatient with people when they treat me badly (as noted in my previous blog) but I try to understand that they are probably just having a bad day or don’t feel well.  There are people out there who just don’t even seem to appreciate when you are nice to them or when you try to do something helpful for them, but I am sure deep down they do and it does mean something to them.

The world is tough sometimes and we are all struggling in some fashion or another…some more than others of course…but we would all be better off if we could try to remember that we’re all human, we all have families, we all have our problems. 

Thank you for reading my blog!  Please pass it on!  Go do something nice for someone today!

“Nothing says YOU MATTER TO ME more than the act of investing time with the people we care about.”