If u need anything. ..let me know. ..

Caregiving.  Is a job.  You’re responsible for atleast one other person. ..all their hygiene and activities of daily living.  You no longer can take vacations or watch a movie.

You live to keep your loved one safe  and comfy.  All their needs are met.  You give up vacations, weekends,  time with friends….there’s no time to paint your nails. ..your time is. ..over.

People will say…”if i can help. Let me know”…but they don’t mean it.  It makes them feel better to offer a vague offering. …that they  never follow  thru.

The days just run into the next.  Bed changes.  Baths. Shampoos. Toileting…dishes. ..commode cleaning. ..meals…meds. ..appointments. …..bills. ..cleaning. ..laundry. ..life.

Before u know it, Ur  life is consumed. It’s all about caring for them.  You no longer exist.  Did u ever?

24/7. One day runs into 3…sum 1  givesd u the reprieve of 1 or 2 hours…big freaking deal.

Are they there at night for the wet diapers or anxiety 4 the medsor meals?

Usually. ..”can I do something to help” means. …only if U donn’t  fuk with my plans. Luckily. ..I need NO ONE.   I CAN DO IT ALL.  ALWAYS HAVE.  So don’t waste my time with your empty offers.  I got this.

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3 thoughts on “If u need anything. ..let me know. ..

  1. We took care of my Mom for 4 months…..me.and my sister. We both have health problems, and she did much more than I did. She didn’t go to her own home for the whole time. Some people thought if they came over and visited they were “helping” They weren’t. Sorry you are going through this, and wish I lived closer so I could come over and do some laundry for you or something……
    mo

  2. I love the raw ugly truth of this post. It’s exactly right. No one really wants to get their hands dirty. When they offer you their help, they are doing it to make themselves feel better and they pray to God you don’t actually take them up on it. People dread when someone says, hey if you have some time open on friday, I could use a hand with giving Grandma a bath….. then that awkward pause….uhhhh oh shoot, I have something going on that day, so sorry. Yeah. Like that. Uh huh.

  3. The problem is we don’t always got this…not really.
    But we have to.
    When I was caring for my mother she was on morphine, and she might wonder if left alone. It got to the point I was afraid to leave her alone long enough for me to go the bathroom. So I held it until my father came home.
    I developed a bad infection. It wasn’t getting better and was running through my system. The doctor wanted to put me in the hospital but I had to take care of my mom.
    The rest of that is a bit of a blur…my mom died a week after that doctor visit.
    If I’d been in the hospital I would have felt so guilty.
    But the real moral of the story is….we don’t even have enough help that we feel we can go to the bathroom.
    That’s a tragedy.

    It hurts me now because my husband is my caregiver. Not as much as I had to be, but a lot. Too much. He has no help. He has no life outside oh work and me.
    I worry about him.

    I worry about you….and so many caregivers who simply do not have help.

    Speak out for all of them! This is written from the gutt!
    It’s powerful.
    It should be heard.

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