Archive | January 2011

Fatigue to the nth degree

 

This will be short, and rambling I’m sure. All my “sleepy” meds are on board…have been for 2 hours now. Am I nestled into my kingsized memory foam bed dreaming of a day on a sunny beach lying in the sun? No…I’m up. Turned computer back on for blogging, again, the thinking being, lets get it out of the brain suitcase and on the puter for all to see.

I’m sooooooooooo tired as of late, I don’t think I classify as human at this point. I’m a science experiement that is being wasted…I’m sure much could be learned. I have gone by the books. Tv off, lights off, fan on….blinders on, lavendar spray on pillow, chammomile tea….quiet time an hour before wanting to sleep…no caffeine since early in the day. Following strict bed time routine. FAIL.

I have tried leaving tv on…cuz i love being lulled to sleep by the tv. I must have my fan on, thats non negotiable. I leave my fishtank on. I count sheeps, angels, I pray…endlessly I pray…I usually finally fall asleep in mid prayer, God gets sick of my going on and on and on and finally knocks me out…that’s generally how it happens…lol.

Which would be fine, if I then had a restful sleep for about 6 hours or more. But I wake up here and there. From like 5am to 9am.  Then go back to bed about 9am and sleep til maybe noon. I don’t feel like I sleep at all. It’s all outta whack. I tried valerian root, all kinds of holistic things…some stuff seems like it helps…but doesn’t solve it.

My eyes ache constantly…like the flu. My mind is mush, can’t remember anything from day to day. I feel I’m turning into an imbecile. I have no energy to do anything either. My adhesions are cutting me in 2. My back is wrecked. My broken foot and ankle just isn’t healing and they said to be patient cuz bonebruising is the worst and takes the longest to heal…even longer than my fractures! WTF>????

There’s been flu thru the house, thru my sons house. Thru my grandparents and parents homes. I’m just so tired. Part of it is probably stress due to the massive amounts of stress I live under, with all my health issues and the massive medical bills that I wrack up monthly with that…it then makes me go on a guilt trip for causing the extra bills….sleep would help escape….for a bit…but I don’t even get to do that…its the opposite…I’m up constantly thinking about it all! All the worlds problems are in my puny mush brain…and they won’t let me sleep!

So lets all start a Prayer that Tammy gets restful sleep pray group……shall we? Lets see if the power of prayer can get me some decent z’s…..It would be much  appreciated! xoxox