She was a fighter. That’s what she’d always heard about herself. They would say it as if it was a badge of honor. She felt like a fighter who had lost. It was one struggle after another. She was a single mother…raising two children … alone. She loved her babies, more than she had ever known was possible. Their father was gone. He was abusive. He was a womanizer. He was a deadbeat. She tried not to bad-mouth him…in front of the kids…but he was just a LOSER. There was no other way to describe him. What kind of man could treat a woman this badly? What kind of man could abandon his children?
Years passed. She went to college. She got a career. She was raising her children…living her life. She was lucky to have her Mi Mi’s support. Mi Mi watched her kids…for free. She would buy the kids the extra things they needed or wanted. Mi Mi was her “Savior”…Their father came in and out…very infrequently. Which was for the better. She could do this alone. She WAS doing this alone! She was mommy and daddy. The kids were doing great. They were sweet, loving, affectionate, smart and empathetic young children.
She would lay in bed at night, sometimes with her kids, sometimes alone. Is this it? She would wonder. Would she never be really loved by a man? Would she never have a good relationship? Did she NEED one? She had decided at this point, all she needed was her children. They were her world. She just wanted to be a good mom. On occassion she would meet a man. Go out to dinner or dancing…or more. Always yearning for that special love and acceptance. Never finding it.
After she turned forty…yes, we are up to forty! She went out one night…with a friend…and she met a man. He was older. Mature. Friendly. He treated her well. She was so flattered! She had never been treated this way! He took her on trips to wonderful places! He treated her (by now mostly grown kids) like they were his own! She felt like her “fairy tale” had arrived!
It wasn’t all a fairy tale though. He didn’t ever compliment her after the “honeymoon” phase was over. He could occassionally have a temper…He flat out told her he didn’t want her thinking she was pretty…But she was too deflated to care about such silly things. He was basically good to her. Her life was on the right track. Her kids were basically grown…this man loved her…life was getting good..
Then there came the health issues. It started slowly…or not so…depending on how you look at it. Aches and pains…roaming throughout her body. Fatigue. After much searching, she was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. Treatment consisted of medications that had side effects that were almost as bad as the disease. She was a fighter though…right? She had no idea just how much of a fighter she would have to be…
To be continued
Live life to the fullest!