The Little Girl…part 3

Once the little girl began to put her feelings down on paper…in her new pink diary…she began to feel better about things.  She could put all her frustrations in there.  How angry she was at the adults in her life.  How scared and sad she was.  How embarrassed she was of her family.  Over the next few years she would rely on these diaries to keep her sane..on some of the pages she would write out her prayers to God.  Begging Him to help her.  Pleading for him to make her family be “normal” and for all the chaos to end.  She also began writing about good things too!  Boys she had crushes on, new friends she had made since they moved in middle school, she loved her new school!  It was bright and colorful and laid out entirely different from the school she came from.

She was a little shy, but quickly made some friends, boys and girls.  She was growing into a pretty girl or “young lady” as her Mi Mi would say.  The boys were noticing too.  She didn’t have a boyfriend in middle school, but she did think a few were cute!  She had a group of girl-friends she became close with…but she rarely had them over to her home, because things hadn’t changed there…the fighting, drinking and chaos continued.  She remained a very good student.  A “pleaser” as her teachers called her.  She was a nervous girl, biting her nails constantly.  She worried incessently about herself, her family, her belongings, her grades…everything.  She was so afraid of messing up or making a mistake or getting into trouble, she lived in near  coninuous fear…but it didn’t really show on the outside.  On the outside she was pretty, smart, outgoing and fun loving.  She was able to dress well, thanks to her Mi Mi …and her mom was a good thrift shopper too!  Dressing well was always important…everyone at her school dressed really great, with all the newest fads…there were alot of kids who had waaaay better clothes and shoes than she did, but for the most part, she blended in.

When she was 14 she was asleep one night…and something bad happened to her.  She was very traumatized by this event, and it started her down an even rockier path than she had already been going down…

To be continued…

Thank you so much for reading and for the comments, some public, some private that are all very encouraging!  I appreciate it very much!

Keep courage in the face of adversity.

3 thoughts on “The Little Girl…part 3

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