A simple note left. Out of vicks for the vaporizor sent me over the edge. Why? Maybe because I’m a burnt out caregiver who had literally stopped my life for a couple years to care for grandparents. ..with VERY LITTLE to no other family help. I’ve moved in to care for family. Neglect my own home, husband, pets and health. I take care of 3 houses, bills, doc appointments, bills, estate Crap, insurance Crap, an invalid, all hygiene needs, medical needs, home health scheduling, groceries, her health issues, my health issues. ..try to keep being useful for kids and grand kids. …
Then some useless family member who drops in for 20 min a wk, leaves messages about some Crap that he notices. Like vicks. ..for a vaporizor that is totally u necessary to begin with. ..but makes him feel better. ..add if he’s actually contributing. ..he’s not the one cleaning it out twice a day. ..lugging it from room to room twice a day, burning his hands. ..just another Damn job for me. ..but makes him feel better I guess.
Until you have been a FULL TIME caregiver for a family member for months to years. ..you have no idea what it involves. It’s exhausting mentally and physically. It’s frustrating to watch someone you love deteriorate. To be their only support. To fulfill their every need and still come up short.
To have”family”members who do not work and are physically healthy,simply choose not to be a significant part of taking care of their own mother. ..sickens me. If you thought a huge inheritance would reward your efforts would you make an attempt? Just for the record. .I’ve not received a dime to move out of my life.
To hear “oh we can’t take care of her on Saturday. .we have plans. ..a party. ..an appointment. ..whatever. ya know how many parties, vacations, weekends and appointments I’ve canceled in 2yrs?
Caregiving is hard. It’s thankless. It’s non stop. Even if you have hired help. ..the responsibility is still forefront in your mind. The scheduling. The groceries. The meds. The appointments. The never ending needs.
Am I tired? Yes. Overwhelmed? Yes. Frustrated? Yes. But I’m doing the best I can, because I know they would do it for me…because family takes care of family. ..without the expectation of a pay out
So skip the stupid vaporizor. ..just take care of your loved one for a weekend…skip the 20 min visit thru the week to make yourself feel better. ..when the real reason is to itemize contents of a house.
It’s hard now. But I know in years to cone I willk feel good about my sacrifice and the time I got to spend with people who mean the world to me..even if right now being burned out is at the forefront.
Hug a caregiver today. Give them a few hours break. Take them a meal. Get their groceries. Find a way to make them laugh for a minute and step away from their responsibility.
It’s hard. ..but it’s worth it. ..keep going.