It’s one of her “bad days.” That’s how she labels each day of her life now. “Good days or bad days.” She’s had been laying in bed all day. She was loaded up on all her pain medications with heating pad in place. A stack of books beside her on the bed with a magazine thrown in for variety. Of course her computer was right there too. That was a necessity! It was her window to the world during these bleak days in bed. She had found many wonderful friends on this World Wide Web! She could talk to them and they understood her pain…it was a sisterhood of misery so to speak. She cherished each and everyone of these friends.
It was while reading a book called “Strong at the broken places” that an idea came to her. She had been struggling with trying to find something positive out of all she had been through…to find some purpose for it all. While reading about a man who was dieing of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma…this man, although he knew his time was limited, he would go and volunteer at a Hospice Home weekly. He felt that since he was living with the fast approaching the crossover to the otherside, what a good match for him to go and help those who were a few steps closer than he! Now this was her take on what he was doing, not necessarily his. That was it she thought! She needed to go help others through their hospital stays! Afterall, who knew better than she what it was like to be in a hospital? After spending so much time in the hospital herself, she had been through all the emotions of feeling like a caged animal, of feeling isolated and alone and forgotten. Of being scared out of her wits. The not knowing how the next shift would be treating her or not treating her. The indignities that go along with being in a hospital setting. She became very excited at the prospect of being able to help others!
She immediately began searching the local hospitals and hospice homes for a position that she was equipped to perform. It took her a few weeks and there it was! A local hospital had an ad on the internet for a “Patient Safety Technician” this position consisted of sitting at the bedside of patients who were at risk of pulling out tubes or climbing out of bed or who were on suicide precautions. The patients included brain injuries, strokes, seizures, etc. There would be no lifting or physical requirements! She couldn’t believe it! This would be perfect! She applied immediately. She prayed and prayed to get this job…she knew it was meant just for her! Right before Thanksgiving she received the call…she was to come in for an interview!
Well, to say she was excited would be a huge understatement! She screamed “Honey! I have the interview!” she was so happy! Her husband was happy for her! She began rummaging through her clothing…she needed to find an interview outfit that still fit her! She tried on many suits and finally settled on one. During the interview she was so nervous! She felt like a stuttering fool! She left the interview feeling like she probably looked and acted like a moron and wouldn’t get the job. So much for positive thinking she thought to herself as she drove home. She walked in the door…to an empty house. Climbed into her pajamas and laid in bed…thinking of all the dumb answers she had given during the interview. “God, I am such an idiot!” she said aloud.
The phone rang. She put down the spatula she had been using to flip hamburgers over on the stove…dinner for the night. Atleast her husbands dinner, as she can’t eat red meat, hers would be the side dish of mac and cheese. She answers the phone and it’s the hospital! She was offered the job! She was so elated she could barely follow the rest of the conversation! When she hung up, she began screaming…”I GOT IT, I GOT IT!! I GOT THE JOB!!!”
That was one more thing she had to be thankful for that Thanksgiving! Her life, her family, her friends and now her JOB! She felt like she was going to be actually contributing now! To the household, to the community, and most importantly to people who were scared and alone laying in a hospital bed. After starting the job, it was as she had hoped, perfect for her. She talked easily to the patients, they liked her, she was caring and empathetic, and to the ones who were able to communicate, she would tell them bits and pieces of her story. She would answer their questions and concerns. Some saw her as an inspiration, they felt that since she had survived such a horrible health predicament and come out on the otherside, that they could do the same. She encouraged them to stay positve, to set their goals and go for it. They discussed faith and how they felt angry at God…how they felt abandoned…how they felt jealous of their family members who could come and go from the hospital as they pleased…She let them know that all of that was completely normal…that she had felt the same feelings herself. They would sometimes tell her she had really helped them, had given them hope, had made them feel stronger! She would go home and feel like she had really made a difference to someone that day at work. For the first time in a long time…she felt good about herself. She felt this was what God wanted her to be able to do. To help others who were suffering. To be an example of strength and courage.
She spent many years doing this job she loved. Over those years she had four more grandchildren, making a grand total of five! She loved them all so much, they frequently stayed all night with her and her husband (otherwise known as Mee Maw and Paw Paw). Her children and their children would come over every Sunday for potluck dinners. She felt blessed. Surrounded by her family, she sat in her chair thanking God for what she had. When her little five year old grand daughter Sarah came and crawled up on her lap…she hugged her tight and thanked God again…because this LITTLE GIRL would never have to hide under her bed praying to God with fear. This LITTLE GIRL and all the other grandchildren would be loved and protected. She rocked her grandbaby and a tear slid down her cheek…one last tear for the LITTLE GIRL that she herself used to be.
Bring your life to life…stop planning and start living!
thank you all so much for reading my blog! some of you may know this already, but alot of it is based on my life, with some fiction thrown in as well…I could have put in alot more, but didn’t want to drag it out too much. I am writing an actual book on this story and hope to someday be published. Thanks again for taking the time to read it! I will have many more blogs to come!